School Affairs
by NadiaIsMe
Summary: Envy, a man masquerading as a girl in Central High. Ed, the new student with a past. Why are these two connected, and how will it affect the future. AU, EnvyxEd, semi-incest, rape, cross-dressing, yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Seriously, don't judge this story on the first chapter, it's shit, I know. I've had this chapter and three other ones written before I even thought of Unexpected Events. My real talent gained by ass-loads of AP and Honors courses shows through in the second chapter. I have just recently gone through and edited this story up a bit. No, I did not re-write it, didn't even attempt to. One I'm too lazy, I'm constantly in and out of depression and I self medicate with a razor blade. I am not trying to make up excuses (too much) but god damn I need a break from life for a while. (Just wait! I'm not done!). I thank my very few supporters. And my uber supportive friend who is trying to convince me to get help. (Though seriously, what do you say to a counselor when you go to talk to them about emotional problems)?

Disclaimer- I do NOT own or plan to own any material used in this story. Thank you and good night, I'm outta here.

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><p>School Affairs- Ch.1<p>

There was a blonde boy walking down the street. This boy happened to be (yes you guessed it) Edward Elric. He also seemed to be lost in thought just like any boy would be if you had to quickly switch schools due to a little problem with another student.  
>'<em>God another school people making fun of my height. A when they find out that I prefer to how I should say it… to bat for my own team.'<em> Yes Ed is gay, he likes men, so what. Like every boy in high school who comes out of the closet he was tired of people who were complete and utter homophobes. The jokes and then… then he met him. He was perfect. But, but then he, he… Ed couldn't think of that anymore. That was the past this is now he had to forget about it and move on. That is why he moved to this school.

Yes, he was moving to a different school. He was going from Central privet school, one of the richest and most prestigious schools in the country, to Central High, let's just say that it wasn't the best school in the area.

When Ed arrived he went to the office to get his uniform, I have no idea why they required uniforms in a crappy school like this, and to get his schedule. Lost in thought Ed didn't notice the girl in front of him as he walked straight into her.

"Ahhhh I-I'm so soo sorry 'bout that!" Ed choked out. He looked up to see a tall lanky girl wearing the issued school uniform, a normal sailor fuku outfit that was purple. She had a pair of small, skin-tight, lacy shorts that barley appeared out from the bottom of her skirt. _'Probably a great idea because the boys undoubtedly looked up her skirt when she went up the stairs.'_ To jazz up her outfit she had a black headband with a weird triangle thing on it. She had black fingerless gloves on and big, black, high heeled, combat boots, Made for seducing and kicking people's asses.

Looking up her face was beautiful she had purple lip-gloss and purple eyeliner and some mascara it was, you guessed it, purple. She had long black hair that had an almost green tint to it pulled into two long pigtails. Her eyes were a brilliant shade of violet, they looked almost… like cat eyes.

"Watch where you're walking midget!" The girl said nastily. She had a high pitch voice but it held a husky undertone to it.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A MI-"Ed knew he was correct about the boots when the girl picked up her foot and kicked him in the head. Ed got up slowly feeling a warm sticky liquid travel over his lips. The girl gave a sort of cat-like smile before being tackled by a security guard. We were then dragged to my original destination, the office.

I was thrown into an office with the girl and she got up and I couldn't help but stare at something on her person that caught my eye, a red serpent that was biting its own tail. The ouroboros if I remembered correctly. She had the ouroboros tattooed on her thigh… great.

"Like what ya see because I can give it to you if you want." She said seductively.

"I uhhh don't swing that way…"

"Well that's good because I don't either!"

The girl was now close to Ed's face and took her finger and wiped up the blood coming from Ed's nose and then licked her finger clean. Ed gave her a disgusted look before she jumped on him and began licking any blood she missed. Ed was about to throw her off when the door opened and a very unhappy man walked in. He went over to the unusually horny girl and yanked her up by her hair.

"Envy Sinstales! You are such a worthless slut!" The man, who Ed now identified as the principal, yelled before slapping her across the face leaving a red mark. "You will have detention for a week because you sexually harassed a new student! You're such a whore why haven't you dropped out? Do you think that you will pass your junior year with your 3rd try?"

"No I just like screwing you. And it looks bad if a dropout comes to the principal's office every Tuesday." The girl now identified as Envy sneered. The man gave up and dropped Envy on the floor while he talked to me. "Now Mr. Edward Elric, I have your schedule and your uniform you can change then Miss Envy here will take you to your first hour."

"Y-yes sir!" I said. I really didn't want to piss off this principal, especially since he didn't even flinch at the idea of slapping a girl.

Envy walked out of the room like she hadn't been abused by the principal… like she was used to it… what had Ed gotten himself into?

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><p>After Ed had gotten changed he and Envy were walking down the long hallway. "Ne, were stoppin' at ma locker, k?" Envy said randomly. Her locker was one of the farthest away from all of Ed's classes. There were two locker sections and two sections of classes. The first section of lockers was for the freshmen and sophomores, same for the classes, and the other ones were for the juniors and seniors. But Envy's locker, for some reason, was all the way on the side for the freshmen and sophomores.<p>

When we made long journey to Envy's locker I was shocked when I saw it. It had spray paint all over it that said a multitude of things mostly summing it up to "Whore" and "Fag banger" and when I looked over at Envy she was studying a thing taped to her locker "That's new…" she muttered before the tore it off and threw it on the ground. A closer inspection to the item let me know that it was a condom that had "You'll need this" Written on it.

When she dropped off one thing and picked up some lip gloss I was about ready to scream. "You are making me late for a class because you needed some make-up?" I yelled furiously.

"Yeah pretty much. What you wanted me to grab something else as well?" She asked.

We didn't talk for the rest of the journey back to the class room. When Envy dropped me off she nodded and I entered, for some reason she did too. I was startled by a large voice that seemed to resonate all around the room. "Wow you actually came to class today Envy! And oh goodie you brought a friend!" A young woman with blonde hair pinned up came towards them. She went up to Ed and shook his hand. "You must be the new student! Envy sit down I will talk to you later. And you mister please come to the front and tell us who you are!" I followed before I realized something of grave importance… Envy was in this class!

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><p>'<em>Man I loved messing with that Chibi… that's a nice name I think I'll call him that. Chibi…'<em> Envy was now in second hour where, unfortunately, the Chibi did not have the same teacher as him. Though, luckily, he knew that he would see him during lunch.

_Flashback…_

_Ed had sat down at his desk and looked forward, like a good little student._

"_Psst… Chibi!" Envy called_

"_What the hell do you want?" Ed whispered back angrily._

"_You said you were gay right?"_

"_Yeah what you want to beat me up for it?"_

"_No you retard I told you that I was gay too. I was wondering if you wanted to join my group. You know that when people find out that you are gay and you have no group to back you up they were literally tear you apart."_

"_Like put stuff on your locker? Like what's on yours?"_

"_No they don't know I'm gay. If I was a lesbian I wouldn't be hanging out with the gay's I would be hanging out with the lesbian's. Yes we have different groups!"_

"_Ok so why do they post that on your locker?"_

"'_Cause ima slut."_

"_What?"_

"_Well there's a rumor goin' around dat I give out sexual favors to ma teachers so I can pass classes."_

"_So it's a rumor and it's not true?"_

"_No it's true."_

"_Do the Freshies and sophomores know about this?"_

"_Nope, the juniors and seniors usually don't give gossip out to the freshies and vice versa."_

"_Don't they feel kinda weird to look at your locker and find random condoms taped to it?"_

"_Yep and it's hilarious to see their faces when I look at it like normal and then open it!"_

_Ed looked back to the front of the room before turning around to say, "Ok fine I'll sit with your group."_

"_Good Chibi I'll wait by your classroom for ya~" Envy said back cheerfully._

_End of flashback…_

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><p>The bell blared its annoying hymn for the world to hear, signaling the end of another class.<p>

Ed's class is conveniently right next to Envy's so the walk was short and Envy quickly ran into the boy.

"Yo Chibi, you're so small I almost ran you over!" Envy exclaimed

"Fuck off!" Ed mumbled before being dragged into the lunch room without being allowed to get any food. Envy quickly threw Ed at the table and took a seat next to him. "Yo Edo this is Havoc, Andy, Bruno, John, and Breda.

"Hey Envy if you are a girl and you're gay how come you're not a lesbian?" Ed asked

"Well Chibi-"Envy began to say, twirling her iridescent hair around her finger "Ima guy."

"That's impossible!" Ed yelled Envy sighed and took Ed's and took it and put it up his skirt and then let Ed feel him up. "What the hell was that?" Ed gasped. "My dick." Envy said callously. By now everyone was laughing and was pointing at Ed because a nice layer of blush had spread over his checks. "Soooooo Chibi ya believe me?" Envy asked. "Yes" Ed said quickly before turning away from Envy. They never spoke again till the end of lunch. When they were dismissed from their table (1) and Envy lead Ed to their next class, gym with Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Mustang.

When they got to the gym Envy lead Ed to the guys locker room and then entered the girls. When they got out they were informed that they would be playing a game of dodge ball.

Envy was playing like he usually did, dodge this, do a back flip, grab a ball, then throw it at someone's face. Unfortunately he threw it too hard it would probably knock them out and he hit Ed square in the face. Envy was correct at the unconscious part because Ed had definitely been knocked out.

Rushing over Envy ran yelling apologies. Armstrong told him to get changed and to bring Ed home. When Envy was dressed he was bringing Ed to the outside of the building when he remembered something. "I have no idea where Chibi lives…" Envy got an idea he checked Ed's bag and sure enough there was his address as well as a key to get inside his house.

When Envy entered the desired neighborhood he almost dropped Ed out of pure shock at how big the houses were. The sky was dropping tinkles of water every so often, threatening to pour any moment. When he got to Ed's house he nearly fainted at the sheer size of it! Fumbling as he pulled the key out of the bag and opened the door. He dropped Ed on the couch and looked around. "Holy shit if I had one of those paintings on the wall I could move out of Dante's house and then put Greed in jail." Envy said.

"Do you like the house?" said a very manly voice.

"Holy mother of fuck! You scared the shit out of me." Envy said turning around and looking to see a middle aged man with blonde hair, most likely Ed's father.

"Young ladies should not use that type of language." He declared.

"Oh sorry you must be Ed's father…" Envy thought that he had seen a picture of him somewhere maybe Dante slept with him once. "Oh sorry if I was starring, I thought that I've seen you somewhere before."

"Your name is what and what are you doing in my house?"

"Oh umm Ed had to be taken home because we were playing dodge ball and I got out of control and hit him with a ball so hard I knocked him out, so I brought him home. Oh and my name is Envy, Envy Sinstales."

There was a shocked look on his face "Y-your mother is Dante right."

"Yeah that old hag is my mother what you slept with her? Don't get worried so did half of the town."

"How old are you?"

"19 why? Don't worry I am not a pedophile I was held back 3 times so I'm actually in Ed's grade."

"That's not what has me worried… did your mom ever mention something about being madly in love with your father?"

"Yeah she hates me because he left! If I get my hands on him I would personally show him how Dante has been treating me for the past 19 fucking years! Do you know how hard she beats me for just being in her presence? Though I can't blame her the prick left a day before she found out she was expecting. "

"Ohhh nonononono!"

"What?"

"You're my… my daughter!"

"Oh you mean your son. The school thinks I'm a girl so I have to pretend to be one… Hey wait what did you say? Me y-your kid?"

"It has to be! I left Dante because she threatened to tell my wife because she was completely in love with me and wouldn't let another woman be with me. So I broke all ties and Trisha never found out. You're her kid who has some of my features, is 19 years old, and is the product of Dante's so called first and only love! It's sad but it has to be true I am your father…" The man said not noticing that Ed had gotten up and started listening when Envy had told him that he was 19.

"Dad y-you cheated on mom?" Ed said almost breaking into tears at the sudden news.

"Ohhhh Shit!" Envy and Hohenheim said simultaneously.

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><p><em><strong>To Be Continued…<strong>_

(1)- That's what has to happen at my school, you have to be dismissed and you like get detention if you leave early.

Read and Review- flames will be cherished because I'm a masochist at heart and verbal abuse is just delectable.


	2. Chapter 2

School Affairs- Ch.2

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><p>AN- Thankies for reading! This one is sooooooooooo much better than the other chapter, I added in a whole section to the original draft of the chapter, so the long paragraphs near the end are my more recent style of writing. This is how I will be writing from chapter 4 and on.

I am going to Band Camp (heheh... American Pie) from the end of June into the second week of July. Therefore, I will update one last time before I go away and I might be back on the 15th to update, If not, I'll see you on the 24th of June, then again on the 22nd of July. (I update on Fridays) I might make an exception and update two chapter before I leave and when I get back. ~It's up to youuuuu~~~~

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><p><strong>Envy POV.<strong>

"Ummmm… Edward, honey, can you go in the kitchen and get me a glass of water please?" Hohenheim asked with a classic anime sweat drop down the side of his forehead.

Envy on the other hand was very… well skeptical to say the least. I mean Dante could have slept with thousands of other men! The possibility of him actually being his father was close to zero… right?

"Go away I don't want to see either of you! Just get out!" Ed screamed as he lunged towards them. He was stopped by the abrupt opening of a door. Inside came a small woman who looked like Sloth. _'Hmm maybe one of her family members slept with Dante…'_ Envy thought as he stared at the woman who just gave her a weird smile.

"Ok now you boys no fighting in the house. Edward H. Elric don't you dare to even think about laying a finger on that poor girl!" She yelled in a motherly tone.

"Uh… hello Mrs. Elric. I'm Envy Sinstales." Envy replied. Well at least try to get on her good side before she finds out.

"I'm very sorry for Edward's behavior Miss Sinstales. But I would like to inform you that I will not let you go by yourself in this pouring rain so can you get someone to pick you up?" Mrs. Elric asked.

"Trisha I really don't find that necessary..." The man who claimed to be my father said quietly before being overcome by his 'beautiful wife'. Then a great idea came into my mind and I was off to work.

"Ohh that is so kind of you Mrs. Elric. I am finally glad that someone cares about me. I will go and call my house and I'll see if someone can come to pick me up." Envy replied getting stares from everyone around him. Walking over to the phone Envy dialed his number before someone picked up… and the person on the other line was a very unhappy Dante. Envy, to avoid anyone over hearing them, walked into another room and began his conversation with his pissed off mom.

"Hello mom?"

'_WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT YOU LITTLE BASTARD!'_

"Umm well mother dearest I don't know. But, I do know that I am in a house with a Mr. Hohenheim Elric and have to have someone pick me up."

'_Hey wait… THE Hohenheim Elric… the one who is trying to hide the affair/relationship between him and me, the Great Dante.'_

"Yes mother and that man and his wife are practically inviting my mother inside their house."

'_Tell me the address and I'm there in 5 minutes.'_

"5456 Flowers Mill. I will enjoy this so much. see you later mother."

Envy hung up the phone and went back into the room full of the bickering Elric family. "Well someone from my house should be coming over in a little bit. I assume that they will not rush because they don't give a shit and I really don't know who is coming over. Personally I hope my mom doesn't come, that would only give her a reason to beat me later." Envy said trying to restrain his laughter. Oh the look on their faces when Dante shows up and starts coming on to Mr. Ho-Ho.

After Ed cooled down they sat by the door until a small knock on the door was heard. "Oh I'll get it" Envy said running over to the door. "Lust always knocks like that it has to be her!" Opening the door Envy revealed that the person behind the door was Dante. "Oh shit… Uh M-Mother I never expected you to be here…" I said signaling her to play the part. "Well yes I am you little bastard all you brothers and sisters told me to actually accept the fact that you are alive and pick you up at some house. Unfortunately for you I still won't forgive you for making your father leave." She said walking into the house and looking around. Then she spotted him, and she stared, and stared, and then approached him she stood looking dazed, like well she was just reunited with an old lover.

Dante looked at him one last time before lifting up her hand and bitch slapping him with all her strength. Then when his eyes landed on hers, she grabbed his face and pulled him to her covering his lips with hers in a rough kiss. Looking around it was hard to try and look shocked. Trisha's face was priceless it was a mixture of hurt, jealousy, and anger. When Hohenhiem broke loose from Dante's grip he looked utterly terrified. Dante had a smug look as she skimmed the crowd. "Well I see that you have met your son." She said looking at Mr. Ho-Ho.

"Um excuse me? What are you doing to _my_ husband?" Trisha asked looking like she was about to rip-off Dante's head. _'Pfftt like she could Dante would bite her fingers off before she could even start.'_ Dante cut the nice thought of Trisha ripping-off her head short by continuing with the life story.

"Well this is weird… he didn't tell you? Well I'm shocked baby! You didn't tell your own wife about me?" Dante started. "Just get on with it… Bitch." Trisha spat. "Well I never…" Dante started with an exasperated fake sigh before continuing. "Anyway, Mr. Elric and I met about 19 years ago and we fell in love~" Dante was getting into the story. "Yeah right. You seduced me-"Hohenheim started. "Shut Up you cheating bastard!" Dante and Trisha spat simultaneously. "Anyway… Ho-baby and I started seeing each other every weekend in January and February. Then in March I threatened to tell you and he left me. The next day I found out I was pregnant and then that October I had my 6th kid, a boy named Envy Sinstales." Dante finished, proud with her story.

"Well Hohenhiem, looks like you have some explaining to do…" Trisha said looking like she was about to cry. Envy on the other hand looked like he was going to orgasm all over the floor. This. Was. Priceless.

Dante, Hohenheim, and Envy all sat down to discuss the issues at hand. Hohenheim wanted visitation rights (God only knows why) and Dante, being the ever-so wonderful mother she is, allowed this to happen as long as the Elrics agreed to pay a fair sum of child support. Trisha insisted on having a paternity test, and Hohenheim agreed as long as they could give Envy a proper physical at the doctors. It was settled then.

**Narrator... Hey wait a second...**

To put it simple Envy's home wasn't like the glamorous mansions situated around the outskirts of town, nor like the quaint apartments found in the inner city. He was in the more urbanized suburbs, living in a shabby one-story house. It was a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, house with a destroyed kitchen (From countless failed attempts of microwaving chicken by Greed when he was too drunk to walk in a straight line and talk in semi-coherent sentences, let alone cook chicken), and a rundown living room with stains in places and colors you would rather ignore than ask what they are or how they got there. The unfinished basement was turned into another bedroom with a laundry room attached. The clothes were hung to dry on the curtain rod of the bathroom because the dryer had been broken, always had been ever since they moved in.

Dante took the master bedroom for herself. What more was there to describe her? She was a controlling and seductive woman when she wanted to be. But, as soon as you denied her what she felt she deserved, Dante turned nasty and could bite like a cobra. She went on constant abusive streaks throughout the week and could turn from a woman cold as ice, to a fiery demon in the blink of an eye. The aging woman treated most of her children with indifference, she let you do as you pleased, but when you crossed her path, don't be surprised when you get a swift smack to the face. She hated Envy with a passion, blaming him for the abandonment of Hohenheim. The physical and verbal hits weren't every other time he crossed her path, it was constantly. Sometimes the woman would purposely search out Envy so she could hit something. On the opposite scale, there was the favorite child, Wrath.

Wrath was, for lack of better words, adequately named. He was a terror from the time he was born. Now at the hormonal age of 14, Wrath found another way to bother Envy, by mocking his sexuality, open, in-public, and in front of his lady friends he brings home from god-knows-where. He got the other 'real' bedroom on the ground floor that he shares with Greed and Pride.

Pride is also the principal at Central High school, though he legally changed his name to Bradley King, as to not be associated with a whore and a bunch of miss-fits. He is Dante's oldest child at 27 and she actually screwed him up the most. He got perfect grades in school and he is considered the pinnacle of success for people in society, but he has a MAJOR god complex. His plans are to become the mayor of Central, and then gradually work his way up the chain of command until he is the absolute ruler of the country. He barley ever comes home anymore, though, so his drearily boring world domination speeches are barley heard anymore by the family. Instead he stays at his girlfriend's house. He takes after Dante in the fact that he is an abusive partner, you can tell by just looking at his girlfriend. Not just by the bruises she fails to cover up, but by her eyes. They're dull, no longer filled with light like they were when they first started dating 2 years ago. They gradually began to fade until it was certain that she had been broken. Envy doesn't feel sorry for her, never has, she's weak if she can be broken that easily.

Greed. Oh Greed, the mention of his name alone could send Envy on an emotional rollercoaster of fear and betrayal. At the age of 23 Greed owns the Bar called 'The Devils Nest' in the seedier districts. Back in once-upon-a-time-land, he and Envy were together against the world. Back when Greed was 12, he started to become closer to his little sibling. Gradually he would turn small platonic gestures into the caressing touches of a lover. Eventually, Envy began to return these gestures with as much, or even more vigor. Touches turned to kisses and the kisses turned fiercer, full of passion. Pride had one day walked in on them, stood at the doorway with an indecisive look, and told them to keep it down. When later questioned by the duo, he replied "I could sincerely care less what you do; you know what they say 'If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in your family'." Greed's touches became less and less caressing with everyday. Before he would stop when Envy said so, now it was just about his satisfaction. When he was 13, he forced himself on Envy and took him, brutally. After that he no longer asked for permission, he took what he wanted from Envy, and if the smaller sin refused or fought back, there were consequences. Greed would use knives and other assorted weapons, sometimes handcuffs and gags were used, others he would force Envy to please him in the most degrading of ways. Envy lost the light in his eyes; they became dull, like the eyes of Prides girlfriend. He did not break though. He fought back with vigor. Greed hardly lives at the house anymore, returning about once a month. He never stops hurting Envy, sometimes bringing his friend Kimbley with him. Kimbley like fire, he likes to burn things. In short Envy doesn't like Greed anymore, and he's scared, scared of Kimbley, scared of Greed, and scared of the being broken.

In the basement room lives Sloth, Lust, and Gluttony. Lust and Sloth are twins 21 years old. Neither associate with Envy much, and he could care less. Sloth acts like a second mother to Wrath, constantly at his beck and call. Lust acts indifferent to them all, preferring to keep to herself while starting her career as an up-and-coming smut novelist. Gluttony follows around Lust like her abused lap dog. That man has a childish incestuous obsession with his younger sister. Gluttony is a 25 year old man with some form of mental illness. No one's quite sure what is wrong with him, and no one really cares either. Though, they care enough to notice that he's not all there. The trio was allowed to call the basement their own as long as they did the laundry, a small price to obtain almost complete peace and quiet within the Sinstale household.

Envy lived in what he called a closet. It wasn't a closet by any means but it might as well have been. The room that Dante had him kept was small, maybe an office at one point in time, but of no real use to anyone. The room was in between the size of a master bath and a small regular closet. Envy had a small cot with a few blankets and pillows. Things were randomly placed around his space. The walls were bare and blank, a drab white color. Envy never put anything up on the walls, least he incur the wrath of the she-demon known as his mother.

I am such an awful narrator, aren't I? I have told you the history of the family. Well not the history, just stories, tales passed down through the grape vine, history is based on facts, stories use the glittering generalities that draw you in, captivate you. I have failed to tell you how our dear Envy became a 'woman'. You see, the Sinstales did not always live in this secluded home, oh no, they lived in all kinds of different places, getting kicked out of town by various families and moral rights activists. The Sinstales moved as they pleased, staying in multiple places. Nevada, Colorado, Oregon, but they always returned to the small city of Central in California. Before this story, the family was living in Portland, Oregon. Everything they owned, mementos, official documents, and all their valuables were lost in a fire and left them with nothing. The police said it was arson, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that is anything else, but they failed to investigate further. Not because they didn't have any leads, they just didn't care. This brought about the perfect opportunity to move back to the quaint city where they had made their name.

Upon arriving Envy was the age of 14, and just starting high school. Greed found the perfect way to show Envy humiliation. On his school entrance forms he changed the 'Male' to 'Female'. Pride never did anything to change this, just watching and playing along. For the next 6 years Envy was forced to masquerade as a woman, being held back 2 times in junior year. It's not really possible to be 'held back' in high school, but Envy essentially was, by failing all the required courses for junior year.

**3rd Person Omniscient... I think, I didn't reread the entire thing so... **

When Envy got home Dante returned to her bitchy fashion and Envy was banished to his closet. He changed out of his school uniform and into his normal clothes, a black cropped top that had no sleeves and a turtle neck and a nice little skort, along with her gloves and kick-ass boots and head band, though his hair was taken out of the pony tails that they were in and let loose to hang down to his thighs.

Envy had sneaked out of his room, against his better judgment, to find nourishment.

"Why hello Envy, fancy seeing you here." A familiar voice said smugly. Stiffening and turning around Envy saw his mother looking like she was going to beat someone with a wooden paddle… well that explain why there is a chunk of wood in her hand.

"Uhhh I was just leaving mother, I was just getting some food. I am sorry, I will go back to my room and stay out of your sight."

"Nonsense you are my child let me embrace you!" Dante said running up to Envy and putting her hands around him. Unfortunately for Envy, he didn't suspect his mother to have a nice little dagger in her hand. In one swift motion she stabbed it right in between his shoulder blades.

"Don't let your guard down around me little one. Even though you helped me get to Hohenheim that doesn't mean you're on my good side." Dante sneered looking into Envy's pale pain stricken eyes.

"M-mother… Why? Don't you love me?" Envy asked.

"Pfft I never loved you and I never will. You are a sorry, worthless, useless, little faggot-transvestite. No one loves you and no one will." Dante spat as she dragged Envy out of her room by his hair.

Dante took off down the street while dragging Envy behind her. "Do you know where were going you bastard?" Dante asked rhetorically. "We're going to your father's of course. I will drop you off and I'll come to pick you up in 5 days." Dante explained stopping at the door step of a large house, the Elric's house. She rang the door bell and a young boy answered he was taller than Ed but looked younger, his little brother maybe?

"Umm hello… may I help you?" The boy asked looking from a pissed off Dante to a bloody Envy.

"Why yes dear, can you please get your father, Hohenheim, for me?" Dante asked very pleasantly.

"Let me go get him… DAD! There's some woman at the door and she is asking for you!" The boy yelled. Then everybody came running to the door. "Oh hell no! You've already ruined this family enough you're not coming inside. Go away Dante!" Trisha yelled and Ed nodded agreeing to her statement. "Oh but I don't think you see what's going on. Hohenheim wanted to have visitation rights so here" Dante threw Envy into the house. "Take the little bastard and I'll comeback in 5 days to pick him up." Dante said as she ran from the door step before anyone could throw Envy back at her.

Closing the door the boy looked at Envy and then at his family. "Ed, mom, dad? What's going on? Who is she? Why is she here? Who was that woman? How do you know her?" The boy started asking very worriedly.

"Alphonse it is very hard to explain but we will try. Before we do that though we have to take Envy to get patched up." Trisha said smiling. Maybe Envy wasn't completely hated after all. "Ok mom!" Alphonse chirped. He got up and came back with a first aid kit. "Now Envy was it?" He asked. "yes… the names Envy waddya want!" Envy yelled trying to sound menacing like usual but for some reason his voice was lacking its usual poison. "Now Envy, just tell Al where your hurt and we can help." Ed said giving Envy a glare. "Fine. I have a pretty deep knife wound in between my shoulder blades and I have awful scrapes all over my body." Envy sighed, he didn't like to get help from others but what else was he to do?

Alphonse bandaged everything up and, for some reason, gave Envy a lollipop. (That just sounds like a pedophilic doctor) Sitting up Envy stretched and looked around. Then an idea hit him, if he was staying here for 5 days he needed to go to school, if he needed to go to school he needs his uniform, and his uniform is at home. Shit. Just then the door bell rang and Ed answered it. At the door was Lust and she had a bag, Envy's school bag, she gave Envy a look of disgust and threw it at him, hitting him in the head. "Ow Lust what the fuck?" Envy screamed before she closed the door and took her leave.

"That was your sister Lust, right?" Mr. Ho-Ho asked.

"Yeah I hate her but she brought me my things so I guess she can't be too bad." Envy shrugged.

"Now, Miss Envy, please tell us why you are here and why you're like that." Trisha said worriedly but with a hint of disgust in her voice.

Envy sighed as he began his long story. "For one thing I am a guy. Call me a girl one more time and I will rip your head off." Envy stated pretending that the air in front of him was someone's neck. "Like I said my mom hates my guts." Envy motioned to his body, as if to say 'here's your proof right here'. "For those who don't know," Envy started to look over to Al who seemed a little distressed with Envy glaring at him. "Mr. Ho-Ho over there had an affair with my wonderful mother around the beginning of the New Year 19 years ago. It was short lived, about 3 months, but my mom got pregnant and had me in October. She blames me for Mr. Ho-Ho's absence and hates me for it. There for I live in the hall closet and have to be out of her sight at all times. I got caught going to the kitchen to try and get some food, and she didn't take so kindly to that, so she took a knife and stabbed me. Then, she dragged me, by my hair, out of the house, then by the arm the rest of the way to your house. Now here I am." Envy finished and got up. "Now where can I stay?" He looked around at everyone for an answer, they were all speechless. "Apparently no one in this house has ever heard of child abuse." Envy joked but, surprise, surprise, apparently no one found child abuse as funny as Envy did.

"Well hell, I will crash on the couch for tonight. G'night father dearest and Co." Envy said jokingly before heading to the couch and landing on it.

"Envy… ENVY… ENVY WAKE UP!" Ed yelled at the sleeping ball of blankets on the Elric's once neat couch. "Wad da hell d'ya want?" Envy slurred sleepily looking up at a fully dressed, and dare I say, pissed off chibi.

"Well I would like to inform her _royal highness_ that he should get the hell off of the couch and go to school." Ed sneered looking down at Envy disgustedly, like how a prince would look down on a peasant.

Envy sighed. Getting up he spotted his bag with all his important possessions in it, school clothes, makeup, binders, pencils, homework/schoolwork, and an I-pod that he stole from some bimbo for calling him a slut, unfortunately Envy doesn't have a computer, or money, and the previous owner had horrible taste in music. Envy took out his uniform and started changing, first taking off his shirt, (taking pleasure in the way that Edward tried to act as if he wasn't fawning over Envy's perfect body. BTW he was sooo checking him out), and slipped on a girls training bra and his shirt for school. Then he took off the skirt, leaving the shorts on, and put his school skirt over it.

"Man, do you have no shame?" Ed yelled flustered.

"You like what you see? Like I said yesterday, I can make it yours." Envy purred in Ed's ear making him shiver.

"And I told you I didn't swing that way. Anyway aren't you supposed to be my half-brother? Isn't that incest or something?" Ed gasped inching away from the creepy guy… girl… it?

"Yeah and like you already know, I am a guy so it doesn't matter. And for the incest thing, it isn't incest unless you get caught. Anyway, were only half siblings so it only makes it wrong half the time."

"Ed, Envy. Stop trying to break laws and let Envy get ready." Ho-Ho said walking into the room. "And Envy, I will have no sexual relations between siblings happening in my house. no matter what gender or how closely related they are."

Envy, being defeated, for now, slinked off to the bathroom to apply countless layers of makeup. Including eyeliner, eye shadow, lip gloss, and mascara, then to complete the sluty schoolgirl look he brushed his hair and pulled it back into pig tails. Just as he was finishing a tired looking Al waltzed into the bathroom.

"Ah… ummm… Mr. Envy…. How are… ahh you? You look so…. Um…. H-h-"

"Hot? Why Alphonse, I'm flattered. At least someone in this house acknowledges my beauty. Now you won't be like Ed and turn me down will are you?" Envy answered, not giving Al time to finish his statement and leaning closer to him with every word until he was hovering above his ear. "Trust me I'll make it worth your while…" Envy whispered ultimately immobilizing his prey.

"I wasn't going to say-"Al's statement was cut short by Envy biting to lobe of his ear. Envy's action was cut short by a loud scream.

"ENVY! How many times do I have to fucking say this! Don't even try to have any sexual relations with anyone in this house! Just because your mother is a whore doesn't give you the right to be one!" Hohenheim screamed. If he wasn't threatening Envy, the cross-dressing boy would have his trademark smirk plastered on his lips.

"Father I swear I wasn't doing anything!" Alphonse cried running to his father's side.

"Oh yeah, Envy, you are not going to school because we are going to the doctors to take some tests." Hohenheim informed before taking his leave. "What tests?" Envy asked himself

"Silly Envy, tests to make sure that your claims are accurate." Trisha answered with a fake smile on her face.

"What claims?" Envy asked again. He was getting tired of the constant guessing games.

"God are you that retarded you little son of a bitch? The tests are to prove that you are lying about my husband being your father." Trisha yelled furiously, apparently Dante was not the only one who could not handle being in the presence of such a divine being such as Envy.

"Trisha, please take Edward and Alphonse to school. Envy and I will take our leave and we won't be home till about 4 or so." Hohenheim said causally before grabbing Envy by the wrist and dragging him outside to his nice pristine Corvette. "Wow." Envy said looking at the car he would now be ridding in for the rest of the day. "I never knew my alleged father had so much money. I should have knocked Edward out years ago."

"Envy, I really want to get to know you even if you aren't my son." Hohenheim blurted out.

"Ne old man, why you say that?" Envy asked puzzled at Ho-Ho's weird reaction.

"I- well just seeing how your treated at home and by other people and yet still able to act happy as can be or at least not complaining non-stop about how much your life sucks." Hohenheim received a weird look form Envy but he continued as he got in the car and started it. "Well you see, Edward is always complaining about something and how much his life sucks even though he has it easier than most people. He causes way to much trouble too but he's bad at it so he always gets caught." He then put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. "Alphonse is the complete opposite! He is completely and almost scarily happy all the time and he never gets in trouble! It's amazing but boring and really creepy. But you, you are different. You don't complain too much but aren't ever scarily happy. You are a trouble maker but you don't get caught that easily, I can tell. You are like the happy medium of my two boys and I really could get used to being around you."

"Wow Ho-Ho I never realized that you felt that way. Hey you smoke?" Envy asked

"Sometimes. Why?" The elder of the two answered feeling a little suspicious.

"You want one? I gotta light so no worries."

"No sir! You will not be smoking in my car! You are too young to be smoking anyway." Ignoring Hohenheim's demands Envy took out a cigarette and lit it. Taking a long drag Envy felt at ease and more relaxed.

"Son, please put that thing out. Anyway we're there so please be on your best behavior." Hohenheim asked irritated.

"Sure thing old man." Envy smirked, puffing a thin line of smoke in Hohenheim's face.

_**To Be Continued…**_

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><p>So... We've reached the end. Great. See you next Friday!<p> 


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